Monday, May 23, 2011

TRI-Improved in summary!

Original article.

The TRI can be quite complex.  As such, I have decided to present the fool-proof principles behind the categorization for my readers.

Category 1-  The leaflets you see stuck on/slipped under your door/gate.  You do not want them.
Category 2-  A mint offered to you by your friend.  You won't reject, but you won't go to the shop to get some.
Category 3-  If you have an itch, you'd scratch it-pro-activeness.
Category 4-  Good lord Jesus Christ is all I have to say (and what you would say).

Shoot, score, smile.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

The 3 rules for handphone etiquette

1.  Color.  Only acceptable colors are black and silver.  Casing included.

2.  It is perfectly fine to reply a text with one word, heck, even one letter.  

3.  Calls duration should not exceed a minute, or at most, two.  Calls should be made with the sole purpose to communicate information, not emotions.  The handphone, also known as the mobile phone, is not for idle farts chit-chat.  Or at least, not in public.

Shoot, score, smile. 

Saturday, April 16, 2011

I believe in the existence of vampires

Since the last post mentioned about vampires, allow me to convince you that vampires may exist.

Think about it, if Man could evolve over time to better adapt to their environment and circumstances, why couldn't supernatural creatures, especially one like the vampires (they do still possess a human brain after all).  It is, in fact, very viable that a small population of vampires exist.
Vampires are violent creatures and would likely fight amongst themselves.  Also, if the group gets too large, human detection would be inevitable.  How can these vampires then stay alive without raising alarm?  We need to lay down some ground assumptions that I have:
1.  Like humans, they adapt.
2.  Vampires learn to control.
3.  Blood is not necessary in large quantities.  You don't need to eat a cow every day to stay alive.  Neither do they need to drink galleons of blood.  

It is definitely sustainable for the small population of vampires to survive.  Take out the crap you read from Twilight; vampires don't have sex and re-produce.  These X number of vampires can get the amount of blood they require via the following ways:
1.  Stealing blood from blood banks, hospitals and morgues.  Vampires are said to have breakneck speed, so what can stop them? 
2.  Human blood with "mysterious disappearances".
3.  Hunting wildlife.  More and more people are becoming vegetarian, by choice.  So can vampires.

All these, is based on the assumption, that vampires did truly existed.

Shoot, score, smile.

Monday, April 4, 2011

The Heart factor and the wisdom of Damon Salvatore.

"There's no such thing as a bad idea! Just poorly executed awesome ones."

While obviously Damon was just being the confident vampire he always was in the show (and for the record, he is the most alpha person in the show), much wisdom lies in this statement. 

Smart readers would be able to guess that to this date, I have one real nagging regret. 

Last July, I met a girl.  A very special girl.  I thought I had time, and wanted to take it slow.  One month later, I got the shock of my life when I realized that wasn't the case.  Then I devised a grand plan (which would eventually be the formulation for the Laws of 22.  Unfortunately, a few things did not go as expected, and I left out the final and undoubtedly, the most crucial part of the scheme.  And that, would be the very last time I would see her. 

You see, I kept trying to create, or rather, await a perfect setting. I wanted it to be audacious yet low-key.  Simple yet with a flair of grandeur.  Outlandish yet sincere.  And when I didn't get these effects, I didn't press on with the plan. 

But they don't exist.  Sometimes, the conditions for whatever you planned for just doesn't materialize.  Be decisive and plow through it.  The NBA Finals 2010 was played against the two greatest teams-the Lakers and the Celtics.  The former chose to employ a man-to-man defense system while the latter played a zone marking.  The series ended only after 7 games and every game was close (exception Game 6).  Apparently, the system used didn't mattered; the desire of the players were far more a larger factor.

And that, my dear readers, is what I wish to emphasize.  You can make the most intricate plans and preparations, but when the going gets tough and things don't measure up, it is about having the heart to rough it out.

Something I wish I learnt earlier.

Shoot, score, smile.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The ace pair at the poker table phenomenon

Last Saturday, I did something that I would probably never ever forget for the rest of my life.  It was something I just had to do; it wasn't something that I could live to regret.

Ever gone on a venture on the primary basis of some key factor and enduring despite the odds?  This is the "ace pair at the poker table" phenomenon.

If you draw a pair of ace at the poker table, you're definitely going to be calling the blinds.  Up pops the community cards.  Still no combination.  Yet chances are, you're still going to be calling the blinds. 

Crazy maybe, but you just never know.  After all, a pair of ace is often enough to win.

Shoot, score, smile.

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Solo Theorem

You know, I meant to write this way earlier, but I got really busy, with tests and assignments.  Thankfully, the assignments were individual assignments.  Scholars continually crap about synergy raising productivity and theories like 1+1=3.  Well, it is not true in the environment of school (unless somehow you can fulfill following conditions).  There are several reasons why, starting with the fact that it takes time for two people to gel.  Secondly, different intellect levels.  Thirdly, different attitude towards the assignment.

Back to the main story.  There was a dark period in my life, when I felt desperate to get that sense of belonging.  I became someone of no opinion; simply going along with the vast majority.  It was really sad.  That is not how it should be.  Everyone should have their own objectives and goals in life, therefore, resulting in having their own agenda.  If it should fall in alignment with others along the way, great.  Liken this to buses.  Sometimes, two buses may be traveling on totally different routes, sometimes similar routes, sometimes, routes that diverge after a certain distance.  But you won't find two bus services going by the exact same route (what would be the point), and that is how it should be as well.  No two humans are exactly the same.  You need to get on with your own route.

What I am driving at, is well, stop giving a damn about people who don't matter.  The Solo Theorem, doesn't dictate you to be heartless.  It simply expects you to channel your emotions and feelings in a logically and sound way.  The bottom line:  Care about people that should and do matter to you. 

You see, it is always more enjoyable to operate alone.  Batman fought crime alone.  Sure, he had his butler, but his butler didn't literally fight side by side with him.  Yeah, there was Robin, but once he grew up, he left, didn't he?  Superman and Spidermen flew (swung) solo as well.  X-Men was a coalition but its members came and went, with no long-term obligations.  Ever wonder why vampire films (with werewolves getting owned) are popular?  Well, quite simply, it oozes sexiness the way vampires are aloof and move alone. 

What I am saying is, there is nothing wrong to be alone.  Social stigma has it that if you're alone, you're probably friendless and a loser.  That is just stupid and not being far-sighted.  Remember, only you can be with yourself forever. 

Yet bear in mind while I started off this article claiming people care about others too much nowadays (which really, account for I would estimate at least 90% of the problems that occurs), I have to reinforce that I did not say not to care for anyone else.  There are people whom I would give up things for; and you should have them too.  Just remember that you need to spread your love wisely.

Shoot, score, smile.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

AvFB-Sports commentary

Now, every male should display some interest in sports.  Some, however, become over-zealous and appear as a faggot.  In fact, I have one friend (strained definition however) who does this.  He goes on and on about soccer matches (specifically Manchester United games) on Facebook.  I have mentioned him before here; he's the exhibit C.

Now it is one thing to be excited about a match; regardless if it is a big match, but commenting about it, from before the start of it to the entire duration of it to the aftermath-is just an awesome display of faggotry.  There are three fundamental problems when guys start giving their two cents about sports:
1.  Most of us haven't even played anywhere near that competitive level to understand.
2.  Most of us think we know better than the experts.
3.  Most of us fail to realize hindsight bias.

The first problem is very common.  You see people criticizing soccer players who miss crucial penalties, open goals; NBA players who fluff up a rebound, the list goes on.  The problem is, how many of us have even played anywhere near those levels to truly understand how difficult it is to be at that level?  It is quite understandable to express extreme disappointment, but to go on and say "I could do better" is just plain retarded.  No, you can't, which is why you're the one sitting in the couch.  So shut up.

Most of us think we know better.  Again, we don't.  I would safely say that 99% of those who watch NBA/soccer thinks that they are the experts and probably can make better deals than any other managers while simultaneously coaching their teams to championships after championships.  This is silly.  There is a reason why ESPN pays retired NBA stars much more (in the region of millions) to commentate.  This is because they actually talk sense (other than Charles Barkley).  There are reasons why top managers and coaches are paid exorbitant amounts.  So please, don't talk about "tactics" as if you're a grandmaster.  You only make yourself look bad; like a know-it-all who really doesn't know anything.  It is alright to be uninformed; just don't be an uninformed uninformed. 

The final issue, hindsight bias is a well-documented psychology academic.  Have you done something only to realize it was such an obvious mistake?  Well, in a nutshell, that is hindsight bias.  Seeing things as being more "duh" after it has happened.  A classic example would be the bombing of Pearl Harbor.  What were the Japanese thinking, provoking the Americans?  Guess it didn't seem so obvious to the Japanese generals then; but was it?  Maybe the Japanese truly believed that the Americans would be too crippled to strike back.  Or that they could hold off the American forces.  In fact, I can think of a very solid reason-Japan believed that by taking out the naval route, the Americans would be left with the air route; which they can take down with their kamikaze fighters.  Whatever reason(s) it was, the Japanese were very confident then that it was a correct and wise decision.  

It's fun to discuss about sports.  It's cool.  Just don't over-do it and bear in mind at the end of the day, you're the one scratching your balls in front of the TV.

Shoot, score, smile. 

Monday, March 7, 2011

Why you should never date a girl three years older than you

Here's why.

We'll start from the beginning.  By the time you are in primary school, she would already be in primary four-which, technically is upper primary and while you're still frolicking around with pokemon cards and going ewwww at the prospect of holding hands with a girl while walking to the canteen, she's already reading sweet valley high and thinking of kissing.  Perhaps more, but you get the drift.

By the time you enter secondary school, she would already be graduating that year; ala senior with some dork who is still trying to figure out his environment and a "himself" that he would ditch when he eventually matures.  By the time you enter JC, she would have already completed it.  And while you are slogging through National Service, you fall two years behind in terms of advancement on the corporate ladder.  That brings you to a grand total of being half a decade behind. 

The World Cup, Olympics and General Elections are held once every four years.  Surely that indicates how drastically things changes across a four year period.  Need I mention five?

Look, I'm not saying not to go for someone older.  In fact, I think that doubles the fun.  Just cap it at two.  Anything more is just heading for a colossal mindfuck.  Besides, I don't think you want a mother for a wife, do you?

Shoot, score, smile.

The Russian Roulette of Logic and Being Correct

Sometimes, the logical choice and the correct option are not the same.

Suppose you would be rewarded with an astronomical value of money (whatever arbitrary value I state, there would be someone unsatisfied, so let's go with this) for a go at the Russian Roulette.  Logically, you should accept it.  I mean, let's get real; there is a staggering 83.3% chance to win.

You see, this is a very simple game.  There are only three outcomes:
1.  You die.
2.  You survive and become richer.
3.  You walk away from the game.

However, unless you are deep in debt or have an otherwise deeply-rooted agenda, I doubt anyone would participate in this proposal.  Outcome 1 is way too heavy a price to pay.   Do not argue that 16.7% is too high and you would accept an otherwise risk percentage.  In terms of real-time decisions, there are generally a few broad outcomes and I find 6 to be a pretty realistic figure in terms of  deciding on a maximum  number for the varying of results. Yes, I believe that as wealth increases, so will happiness.  Readers with good memory may contest this point with my minimalist ideology mentioned here; my simple explanation is that one can lavish his wealth to pursue his focused agenda deeply.  Yet there are things that wealth cannot buy; I know, sounds cliché.  

Now let's refer to a very famous motivation model-Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, as drawn below:
Those familiar with this simple pyramid would know that the bottom levels need to be fulfilled before one can move on to the next level.  Considering that the safety of one cannot be assured, then well, it brings doubts as to whether the logical choice of making advancements, should be done.

More importantly, there is a difference between playing poker and "Big-Small" (think coin toss).  In poker, you actually have to make evaluate your position and make sound decisions.  In "Big-Small", it is simply a cast of the dice and luck.  Alpha men do take gambles; but only calculated ones and those which they still can exercise some form of control over.  Of course, the amount of control one requires to have and the  magnitude of the luck element differs based on the Risk-Security in differing circumstances as well.

It would be logical to pull the trigger for fortune-hunting.  But would it making the right choice?

*Sidenote:  On the other hand, how could one resist such a temptation?

Shoot, score, smile.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

12 quick guidelines to tilt the AvFB in your favor

1.  Always wear a belt when you wear pants.  Whether you really need it is irrelevant.  It just looks weird without.  Also, sadomasochism. 

2.  An Alpha always appears to be in control and calm.  Be like a duck-stay calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath (Michael Caine).

3.  Honor thy promise.  If you have explicitly given your word, you have to, regardless how bad an idea it is. 

4.  A cat is never adorable.  They are dirty animals which serve no purpose.  The myth that cats are "cute" is propagated by pathetic faggots who are desperate to get chicks' attention.  Nothing more.

5.  Never copy homework.  If you didn't do it, so be it.  Corollary, if it's being graded, don't be dumb.

6.  The use of "Lol" should be restricted. 

7.  You do not clip your nails regularly.  You cut them when you notice that they are long.  That's it.  There is no reason why you need to dedicate a fixed time for such trivial matters.  It's not like we paint don't right?

8.  In your pencil case, there should never be more than one highlighter, pens adding to three different colors or stuff like spare pencil lead or staple bullets.  Multiple highlighters are for chicks.  Real men can deal with underlines or circling using their pens.  Having pens that make up the colors of the rainbow is again, strictly for chicks.  Spare items like pencil lead and stapler bullets are what the secretaries should have.  And a male secretary is just gay and faggot-ish.

9.  Never call someone "bro".  We're in Singapore, not USA.  When this word is used as an opening, nine times out of ten, a favor request would ensue.  The other one time would be an extension required of already granted favor.  The word "bro" should remain exclusively in the gym. 

10.  There is only one way to read the papers.  To start with the sports section.

11.  Never use a hair dryer.  If our ancestors didn't put their hair near the fire to dry, we sure as hell can deal with wet hair.

12.  Guys do not wish each other good night.  That's just gay.

Shoot, Score, Smile.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Get-psyched songs list

For those who are familiar with the educational TV (CBS) series How I Met Your Mother, Barney Stinson (one of the greatest men ever to grace the surface of Earth), you might recall he mentioned that "a bro is always psyched" and goes on to cite a "Get pysched song list". 

One thing for sure, Barney is right about being psyched.  Being psyched is important to the success (or failure) of your endeavor.  You must be excited about what you are doing.  This is the basic thing that will motivate you to give all that you have.  

Choosing a "get-psyched song" is pretty easy. First of all, you must like it; duh.  Secondly, there must be a line where you get to emphasize.  This is to allow you to focus.  You channel all your energy to express yourself at that moment.  Finally, the song must always sound better when played louder.  Generals did not play the zither to boost the morale of their troops; they had loud drums to bolster the fighting spirit. 

It is important to know that over time, some songs may lose the ability to psych you up.  This is perfectly normal; you just need to find other songs.  Below are several really good quality "get-psyched" songs for your disposal.

Song:  Bosson's One in a Million.
Reason for inclusion: Quite simply, "I like it when it's difficult, I like it when it's hard".

Song:  SNSD's Cabi.
Reason for inclusion: Watch the MV.

Song:  Any USMC's cadence songs, especially this.  Honorable mention includes this.
Reason for inclusion:  USMC...duh.

Song: Enrique Iglesias' I Like It.
Reason for inclusion:  Self-explanatory.  No, really, listen to it...if you haven't heard it yet.

Song:  Plenty of Eminem's songs, not restricted to, but strongly recommended would include Not Afraid, When I'm Gone and Stan.
Reason for inclusion:  If anything, Eminem is the only rapper who is classy.

Song:  Cee Lo Green's Fuck You
Reason for inclusion:  Good amount of expletives (don't go pussy on me here) to pump you up with a pretty fine MV storyline.

Song:  Bon Jovi's You Give Love a Bad Name.
Reason for inclusion:  Just watch the LIVE performance.  (It is also included in Barney's list.)

Song:  Taio Cruz's Dynamite.
Reason for inclusion:  Every time it reaches the part of "I put my hands up in the air sometimes...", I somehow recall one of Arnold Schwarzenegger's pose.  Said picture can be found here.

Song:  3 Doors Down's When I'm Gone.
Reason for inclusion:  A tribute to the US armed forces.  If we had that in Singapore, conscription wouldn't seem that bad.  Maybe.

Enjoy finding what works and psyching yourself.  A good psych beats a lengthy amount of sleep.  Trust me on this. 

Shoot, Score, Smile.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Pot of Curry, the Phlegm Down the Basin Logic and the 3 Decorums of the Art of Persuasion

Every Chinese New Year when my grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins come over to my house, my mom would cook a particular dish; well, no prizes for guessing, curry chicken.  This may seem like a simple dish...bazinga, it is.  A simple dish indeed, but things aren't that simple. 

Since young, I have never been one to eat spicy food.  However, I do not exactly shun them.  My tolerance for spicy food...well, not that good, but I guess I can hold my ground as well.  The problem is, my mom's curry chicken is really really very spicy.  I swear to God, just one small portion of potato from that curry pot would make me wonder why I picked up that piece of food.  And there isn't even much sauce. 

Yet, I continue to pick up chicken wings after chicken wings from that pot.  Why?

This simple little dining "adventure" would benefit me greatly.  From it, I have realized the Art of Persuasion.  But before I delve into the Art of Persuasion, I must first explain the Phlegm Down the Basin Logic. 

Just a few weeks ago, I was having a flu.  Not a major one to knock me down, but still, I had plenty of phlegm for the basin.  Those vile viscous green slime required a certain volume of tap water (although more of water pressure) to be flushed down.  At that moment, something just went off in my brain.

In 1889, Swedish scientist Svante Arrhenius introduced the term "activation energy" as the energy that must be overcome in order for a chemical reaction to happen.  To get the phlegm down the basin, we need a certain level of water pressure-the "activation energy".  As disgusting as it may sound, humans behave in the same manner. To get people to do things, we need a certain level of motivation.  There are two forms of motivation-internal and external.  I would refer to internal motivation as desire from within and external motivation as pressure; the latter being similar to the "water pressure" exerted by us onto the phlegm.

To successfully persuade people to do something, we must exert that "pressure" to help them overcome the "activation energy".  What the Art of Persuasion seeks to achieve, is to help provide this activation energy.

As I am learned in a previous lecture, Frederick Herzberg (1923-2000, American psychologist, best known for his hygiene and motivation theory), stated in a conference that "the more a person can do something, the more you can motivate him to do that something".  Drawing parallels from Herzberg, we can only persuade someone to do something if we show him that he can actually do that something.  This lies the first commandment of the Art of Persuasion.

Secondly, we must give a reason to do it.  No one does anything for free; hell would boil over.  Voluntary work?  Stop kidding.  They do it to fill up their self-esteem, to bolster their "character" and be a "good person".  If you want to persuade someone to help you with your cause, you need to let them know what is in for them, what benefits they will derive.  Quite apparently, the more rewards they can attain, the more likely they could be persuaded.
The final point to consider, is the amount of risk the person would have to expose himself to.  As mentioned in a previous article here, when we make choices, the very minimal we should be looking to accept, would be a decision that doesn't leave us in a worse-off condition.  This not only means you should try to provide insurance for the person you're trying to persuade, but also to allow him to understand what are the liabilities at stake.  The perils of any ventures should be spelled out explicitly for two core reasons: to build trust and to prevent misinformed reasoning of the safety of the endeavor-this is just responsible.  This is not detrimental to the second point we are trying to establish.  It is simply reasonable that in any ventures to gain, a certain amount of price/risk lies therein.

And so to sum up, the three Decorums of the Art of Persuasion:
1.  We can only persuade someone to do something if we show him that he can actually do that something.
2.  To persuade someone, you must offer him benefits.
3.  You must provide Risk-Security insurance to the one you're trying to persuade.  What does he have to lose by participating, and his back-up plans, if any?

Shoot, score, smile.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

This channel or that?

I recall during my last semester break, there was two shows which I won’t mind spending my time re-watching (since I have nothing much to do) being aired at the same timing.  But hey, that’s not a problem, since I can always catch the one I choose to leave out later on the internet.

Of course, that is the issue.  Thanks to technological advances and globalization, we are now not just spoilt for choice…it has come to a point where sometimes, we do not have to make choices.

How is this bad?  Well, as with the case in point, I could had been contented and very happy watching just one show.  Sure, I would be a little dejected at missing out on the other.  Yet you see, it is this opportunity cost of another show, that will further raise the value of the show I would had chosen.

Now instead of enjoying just one selected option, I have to watched both.  I have become more demanding; instead of being able to bask in the joy of watching a show, I needed to watch both.  But am I truly happier after watching both?

No, definitely not.  Which is a little sad, because this little phenomenon is happening everywhere.  People are demanding more, but the satisfaction gained has not increased.  Global wealth have rose drastically over the last century, yet the happiness index level have not shown any significant improvement; ironically, there is a 30% increase in people suffering from depression.  Granted, compared to 100 years ago, people would actually dare to step up and admit they’re ailing from depression.  And of course, milder conditions (like having one of your chicken nuggets taken away by your classmate) would actually classify under the “depression”.

The point is, we’re now demanding more but not getting the same level of contentment.  Despite having more, we do not feel as accomplished as we should be.  What is wrong then?

Too often, we hanker after too many "accomplishments".  Minimalism is endangered.  Probably on brink of extinction.  Remember, you only need to seek what you want.  Also, you can only lose what you have got.  Be selective about what you want to capture, and then hold on to them tight.

Shoot, Score, Smile.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

The BAM aftermath of TRI-PAIN

Pretty sure you would have noticed, that the two rails of the Hotness Ladder forms "TRI-PAIN".  Well, since "tri" is generally understood to be a numerical prefix meaning three and "pain" means damage(s)....yes, you guessed it, there are three main aspects of pain getting a girlfriend can, and undoubtedly, will bring.  This shall be known as the BAM aftermath, forming my final part of my Valentine's Day special to my readers.

BAM stands for Brain, Agenda and Money. 

Getting a girlfriend, will no doubt stretch your brain like never before.  As stated previously, the female species is a very confused, and thus, confusing species.  This can range from a wide activities from common daily occurrences to "important dates".  Whatever it is, the challenges to be surmounted are plenty.  There are other hazards as well.  Having a female companion can and will likely alter your thinking in a way that is adverse to your AvFB.  Assuming you aspire towards greatness, that would be something you would try to avoid.  

I firmly believe that any man must always have an agenda.  A purpose.  Having a girlfriend (unless that is your agenda, in which case, your AvFB is way off), will always derail you from your agenda.  Everyone has limited resources.  The opportunity cost of having a girlfriend, is that you inevitably have to devote some of your limited resources to her.  This will cost you of your agenda, be it in depth or breadth.     

The final hazard would be money.  Let's not kid ourselves.  The singular most undermining thing of the modern society is money.   Today's world would be non-functional without money.  The very basis of governance of daily life is now all about money.  And women, are the most effective reducing agents to a man's wallet. 

Now that I have explained the main menaces of getting into a relationship, it is important to note that I do not disapprove of engaging in one.  The issue is finding one who is worth it.  At this point, it is important to raise the issue that there is no love at first sight, only lust at first sight.  Valentine's Day is approaching, and in case you're a faggot and think that "love is in the air"....think again.

When you love someone, you would be open to making sacrifices (but not everything; sphere of life theorem; again, found in AvFB).  I don't think you would be doing that for a girl you just saw.  Many would point out the "hero saving damsel in distress" story; I concur otherwise.  Whether or not you choose to aid a "damsel in distress", depends on the amount of chivalry one has.  It is irrelevant to the amount of feelings you have towards the "damsel".  Chivalry however, can be affected by carnal factors.  A right categorization of the "damsel" will induce higher levels of gallantry.  There is an inherent difference between "making sacrifices" and chivalry.  The former will involve consideration while the latter is more of a reflex action.

Well, my dear readers, I hope that one day you would find someone worthwhile to suffer the BAM aftermath.  When you do, bear in mind The Laws of 22.  In the mean time, allow me to share two facts about Valentine's Day:
1.  Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest, who was stoned.  Not sure if it was fortunate or otherwise, but he survived the stoning and had to be beheaded eventually.
2.  The iconic heart shape isn't based on an actual human heart, but rather, based on what a woman's butt looks like when she bends over.

Have a great Valentine's Day ahead.

Shoot, score, smile.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Completing The Hotness Ladder, Part II-PAIN

As promised to a gentleman, it is my obligation to release the second part of my Hotness Ladder as a Valentine's Day special.  However, after much deliberation, I have decided to publish this much earlier due to three reasons; the first being I have two treasured friends whose birthdays fall on this exact date.  The next is in consideration for those who are still single not by choice and seeking a girl.  Hopefully, or rather with great amount of certainty, the comprehension of the Hotness Ladder will help in homing in onto a target.  The final reason, will, if all goes well, unravel itself on Valetine's Day itself.

While TRI is an efficient way of grading a female's physical appearance, a ladder always has two rails; so does my Hotness Ladder.  It is also important to note that it is not complete to decide if a girl is hot simply based on her looks.  

What?  No, you didn't hear me wrong.  In mathematical equation terminology: hotness of girl=looks+character.  We are able to analyze a lady's looks using TRI; without further ado, allow me to induct PAIN to examine a lady's character.  As such, the Hotness Ladder:

In Biology, we explicitly know that humans have 46 chromosomes in each cell, split into 23 pairs.  Similarly, the "hotness cell", has a pair of two segments-the TRI segement and the PAIN segment.  For different individuals, these segments will exert varying degrees of influence.  For the sake of demonstration, I have simply left them to be of equal length, representing equal importance.   

PAIN, is an acronym for Poise, Activities, Intellect and Nice.  

It is important for a lady to display poise.  How do you think Arnold Schwarzenegger would look if he walked around with his head down and crestfallen?  Well, still pretty darn good, but not as much.  For a prime example, watch Miss Congeniality.  The first one, not the sequels.  A lady with poise, will exude a special attractiveness which cannot be copied.  The kind of confidence radiating from within can never be duplicated by nor onto another person.  It adds a fine touch of exquisite to the girl, which will leave others wanting.

The activities a lady engage in (forming her sphere of life) impact how hot she is as well.  For instance, you may have a penchant for athletic girls.  This point should be pretty straightforward, the issue is getting people to agree what activities should be considered plus points for hotness.  The reality is that everyone have different preferences.

Have you ever tried talking to really dumb girls (no, not bimbos, 'cuz she for hell wasn't pretty)?  I have.  I have once spoken to a girl who asked me why I rounded up my budgets.  I was pretty sure a few blood capillaries burst.  Hello lady, if you have money to spare, I don't think that's a problem, but if I exceed the budget, I'm certain I would be royally screwed.  Now, I'm not saying a higher intellect naturally translates to being hotter.  Rather, girls that match your intellect level (give and take some variance, depending on personal tolerance) are more likely to be able to connect with you and thus, appear hot.  Idiotic girls, unless you're looking just for an easy scam, are definite turn-offs.

The final aspect-nice.  Again, this is a pretty straightforward point but it has to be raised.  Girls who are nice are hotter than obnoxious bitches who simply think the world revolve around them.  Of course, efforts to discern genuine from facades must not slacken. 

And there we have it, the PAIN rail of our Hotness Ladder.  

In the ideal world, the PAIN and TRI segments will conjugate and form one nice rung on the Hotness Ladder.  Unfortunately, that may or may not be the case.  When the two segments do not align, we do not exactly get a rung on the ladder.  How shall we then, decide how high or low the rung should be?  Obviously, balancing on the higher segment is going to be more risky.  Should it collapse, you take a harder fall.  But if you were to stand on the lower segment, you cannot reach as high.   Well, this I would leave it to you, my readers.  Just remember that fortune favors the brave and if you are courageous, the force would be with you.

Shoot, score, smile.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Dealing with obsessions

One of the reasons why I was underweight throughout (with exception to my university years) my schooling perpetuation is that I was crazily addicted to computer gaming.  It is not something I am proud of, but I used to spend hours after hours playing computer games.  I could spend an entire weekend doing nothing but plough away in front of my computer for pixelated images.  

I was obsessed.  

Obsessions are very dangerous.  

Firstly, they distort your sphere of life (as mentioned in AvFB) to the point where you will dedicate excessive attention and resources to that obsession.  This will cause you to neglect your other prospects.  This poses two issues.  To begin, you become one-dimensional.  Secondly, I'm sure everyone has heard of "do not put all your eggs in one basket".  If one day your this facet of life comes crashing down (has happened to me before), you would end up feeling lost.  An FBI agent always has a spare gun and ammunition; apply the same logic.

Obsessions can become totally pointless.  Obsessions often leave us very short-sighted and unable to make sound long-run decisions.  When we become obsessed, in the excitement to pursue the lofty goal, we could possibly forget the real intent of doing so.  

I'm happy to announce that starting from today, I shall quit an obsession that I have, for the past year, been ensnared into.  To be honest, there is nothing much to be learned from today's entry.  However, I hope this will serve as a reminder to check oneself for obsessions and rescue thyself from the pits of hell before it is otherwise too late.

Shoot, score, smile.

Friday, February 4, 2011

AvFB Testament 1

It is never wrong for a guy to be checking out a girl.  When an attractive (of varying degree) female gets into the sight zone of a male, natural biochemical processes occur, due to the presence of a particular hormone starting with the letter T.  There is thus nothing to be shameful about; as a result, nothing to hide.  When checking out chicks, discretion can be exercised, but should never become a priority and when exposed, said guy should gracefully, if not proudly concede that he had been looking at a girl.

A guy should not spend more than 30 minutes contemplating if he should make a product acquisition; this can range from a gift for a fellow male friend, clothes, sneakers.  This is because the level of estrogen is directly proportionate to the time spent on deciding whether to buy something.  As outlined here, there are three basic outcomes.  As long as the product does not fall into Class 3, then it is an acceptable choice to pick up.  There is one exception to the rule, which is making a product acquisition for a specimen from the opposite (ie. female) gender.  This is because females are generally confusing (as they are largely confused most of the time) in nature.

One word text replies are perfectly fine.  It isn't rude to express a disinterest. 

An alpha man do not attempt to create poems.  He either manages to craft a nice literature piece at first try or doesn't.  For budding students, you can always try the classic "Roses are red, Violets are blue".  While many discard this as "lame", "stupid" and "un-original", it does have a positively corny touch to it, and if you can lace your next two lines succinctly and with some humour, then it can be pulled off.

Shoot, score, smile.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Would I date a taller girl.

This is not something I am proud of, but there was a time when I was not so tall.  As God has it, my growth spurt hit me much later than the average male.  At that age, I felt that there was nothing wrong with dating a taller girl; but if truth were to be told, it was because I won't have much alternatives otherwise.

While I am not considered tall, I am at least of average male height, which safely places me at a vertically more favourable standing against the majority of the female population.  Last year, an observation (that was extremely ego-pleasuring) triggered me to re-consider this preposition.

The fundamental structure of a couple, dictates that one would be the dominant (as a result, giving rise to the role of a butch).  Traditionally, the male is the ascendant.  Henceforth lies the social stigma of a male having to be taller than the female (tallness and alpha-ness have a direct relation, read the next paragraph).

But would you really look like a faggot dating a girl taller than you?  Undeniably, yes, you would look like a colossal asshat.  Why do you think Robin is shorter than Batman?  Why is Superman portrayed to be so tall?  When Venom entered to become Spiderman's fiercest enemy, guess who's the taller "spider"?  You see, when we put two people side by side, the very first comparison that strikes the human mind would be the height.  The taller person would always appear to be the one assertive (even if not the case); and if you are not the one being assertive, then you have got to be the beta personnel, languishing you to the faggotry end.

However (there is always a however in any circumstances), is this really true?  Short men are able to command respect and end up flaunting a great deal of alpha-ness.  There are ample examples from history.  Napoleon Bonaparte, one of the finest military commanders the world has seen, was short.  Adolf Hitler had to stand on a raised platform to give his speeches, but he nearly seized the entire Europe as his own.  Benito Mussolini (the Italian leader during WWII) was one inch shorter than Hitler.  Evidently, just because you look short doesn't mean you are not capable.  

Now let's look at this problem from another angle; there's right, the female perspective.  As much as men expects to be taller than their significant other, women would expect the same.  So if you could make her conclude otherwise, then it can be considered a victory and a demonstration of mastery.  Seriously, when you see a guy with a taller chick (we make the basic assumption that the chick is hot), one would always wonder how did the guy pulled it off and snagged that chick.

As established, if you date a taller girl, you gain additional points when we discuss expressing alpha-ness from within but gets knocked off a few rungs on the image outlook.  This leaves this issue a very delicate one.  However, it must also be noted that radiating greatness from the depths can create an external form of majest.  After all, Spiderman, despite a smaller stature, defeated Venom.

So yes, I would.  It is interesting to note that I continue to await the day when I get enchanted by a girl taller than me (this suffices to say that as mentioned in an earlier article, all of the four Category 4 girls are shorter or of negligible height disparity).

Shoot, score, smile.

Alpha-ness Vs Faggotry Balance (AvFB)

While my blog may seem to be unassociated ramblings to the common eye, astute readers would have caught on the true intent of the blog.  The bedrock for this site, is to celebrate self-discovery and hopefully, self-improvement.  

One of my favourite quotes of all-time would be one that I picked up during my mandatory military service-Everyday, Stronger, Better, Faster.  I personally find this quote (regardless of the song), to be a truly exceptional one. 

Today, I shall introduce the Alpha-ness Vs Faggotry Balance (AvFB in short).
The second picture depicts what happens on the AvFB when someone becomes more "alpha".  The fulcrum of the balance moves away, but it doesn't make you less "alpha".  In this scale, the length of the distance between the category (alpha-ness/faggotry) represents the volume of the said category you possess.  Why?  Well, this is simply because, if you are more alpha, you would actually need to do less to impress   The harsh reality is that many a time, people are influenced by reputations.  If you have a strong image, you do not actually have to do as much to create the same impact.  Metaphorically to the scale, you will need to exert a lesser force.  Scientifically, it means the fulcrum has to be further away.

With each passing day, we should seek to move the fulcrum in the favourable direction such that we become more "alpha".  There are two ways to go about doing this:
1.  Increasing alpha-ness.
2.  Decreasing the amount of faggotry. 

Without further ado, allow me to share one method of acquiring alpha-ness and one manner to reduce faggotry.

Gentlemen (and ladies, if there happen to be any reading), always remember this: You can have 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.  Looking past the crude-ness, you would realize the immense wisdom in this statement.  You see, as a man, you should never be flustered and bothered because of a girl.  A girl, should never form the center of a universe where you, revolve around.  More accurately, no one should; but then, there is an underlying connotation as to where I stated a female.  One should never cement his life around another.  Not even married couples.

Allow me to explain for the part about married couples.  You see, I believe in the Sphere of life time-space continuum theorem. Everyone has a sphere of life.  At different points of time, this sphere can stretch or pull back towards its centroid/core.  When I was 17, DotA formed a big part of my life.  The sphere extended extensively (pardon me for the lack of variety in vocabulary) in relation to the  “DotA” aspect.  However, as I grew up, the sphere shrunk with regards to this nature.  The “DotA” radius decreased dramatically while the sphere grew to embrace other stuff, more befitting of the testosterone in my body.  As couples, you and her spheres will overlap and intertwined.  Your sphere doesn't revolve around hers, but rather, together with hers.

Today, I shall also expose the biggest faggotry of modern times-Facebook.  OK, to be fair there is nothing wrong with Facebook itself.  It is how people, or rather, the male population is using it now.  By virtue of their gender, I would not inquire into how females use Facebook.  However, if you have a Y-chromosome, then I propose that certain rules must be enforced to prevent you from looking like a faggot.  I have plenty of examples:

Exhibit A-a falling star; at least i fall alone
What is wrong:  Plenty.  Firstly, men do not post emo nonsense on Facebook.  Secondly, unless you are, don't type like a first-grader.  Hell, I knew to capitalize my letters when I was in kindergarten.  Salvation point-he is still quite young.

Exhibit B-I spend the last 1/2 hours commenting on facebook posts and stuffs.  Behold the new MSN chat lulz!
What is wrong:  Much more.  The act of spending 30mins (at a go) doing what he did should already have you condemned.  Posting about it, ala being proud of it, suggests this person is a total faggot.  Again, poor command of English being demonstrated here.  Not much salvation for this guy, he's is 21 already. 

Exhibit C-Happy 27th birthday to Darren Fletcher! Hope you regain form for the rest of the season!
Exhibit C-Happy birthda Dimitar Berbatov! Blah blah blah blah(it's really insanely long). Keep on banging in those goals, you Bulgarian beauty!
What is wrong:  Need I say?  Wishing players from your favourite soccer team happy birthday is just acting like a stupid teenage fan-girl going crazy over boy-bands.  This is a surefire way to score 10/10 for faggotry.  And really, "Bulgarian beauty" for a man from a man?  Verdict: totally gay. 

I feel obliged to add this.  Liking your own posts and using your status (unless is within comments) to give live feeds of an on-going match are absolute no-nos as well.

I'm pretty certain that you do not want to look like a total dumbass like the above exhibits.  This is why, you must practice the Kerb Rule before making any post on Facebook  The Kerb rule is a very simple rule; yes, you guessed it, it's the same as the one your mom taught you when crossing roads.   In Facebook fashion, it would be stop before you hit the enter key, look at what you have written, look at it again, then decide if you really want to hit the post key.  Remember, there is just a very fine line between posting like a retard and being "social"(although there is a problem to this as well, to be covered in The Solo Theorem at a later date).  Unfortunately (for them), many people have fallen under the imbecile grouping.

Shoot, score, smile.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Why 2010 was awesome.

In a few days, we will usher in the Year of the Rabbit.  Looking back, the Year of the Snake and 2010, was pretty life-changing for me.

On 19th July 2010, I start to believe, for the first time, with regards to pertaining a particular issue.  On 30th August 2010, I exercised an option that I never had before.  On 22 December 2010, I made my final resolution and conclusion.  On 5 January 2011, I re-affirmed the fact that I'm awesome to kick-start the new year.  A few days later, I discovered my 4th Category 4 (according to the TRI) girl.

There are many more instances, but the point is, although we are born into the world only once, I would say, I was re-awoken in the second half of 2010.  You see, sometimes in life, you stumble along.  However, you need to discover yourself.  At certain times in life, you will suddenly come to realize stuff, and that is when you re-invent yourself.

Shoot, score, smile.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Class of decision, evaluating choices

I've noticed that people always struggle to make decisions.  It's simply really, and today, I shall reveal the principles behind how I reach a decision. 

Being decisive is of paramount importance (as I learned on my cardinal crusade of gutso mentioned in the Laws of 22).  You see, many a times, people gain confidence in you not because of what you are capable of, but rather due to the brash assurance you have.  Would armies of men follow Julius Caesar into war had he shown signs of wavering?  How did Michael Jordan know when to go in to strip the ball away from his opponent?  How did my mother know when to walk away when bargaining?

When making choices/decisions, there can only be three results.

Class 1:  Gain of control, refers to when you establish command.  Improves your position.
Class 2:  Moves that result in co-operation are neutral in nature.  Status quo.
Class 3:  Moves that surrender power to others.  Weakens your position.  

Class 1 moves, in layman's terms, helps you seize the upper hand and would leave you empowered and in the driving seat.  One should always strive to execute Class 1 moves as they will allow you to assert dominance.  However, you must be sure you can deliver what you promise, otherwise, the consequences that may entail will leave you worse than a neutered cat.  As a man, promises should always be honored, regardless of the level of ridiculity.  As such, if a Class 1 decision is made, it follows that it must be upheld.  For example, when a girl asks if you have a six-pack, by affirming that you have an eight-pack instead or inviting her to check out your bod, would be considered Class 1 moves.  Note:  if you're alpha (like me), you would do both simultaneously.

Class 2 moves, being "neutral", confers an advantage to no one.   

Class 3 moves, allot authority to others.  This is generally shelfed under "weak".  It puts you in a "beggar" position.  You forgo your right to make the choice to others.  For instance:  someone asks you where you want to go for lunch and you reply with "anything". 

Now, obviously, the good decisions usually belongs to Class 1.  The acceptable choices fall into Class 2.  Bad decisions will go under Class 3. 

Yet, it is critical to know that it is not always possible, in fact, it will appear fake and thus, detrimental, to always make Class 1 decisions.  Furthermore, it will stress out even the toughest studs to dominate every single facet of life.  It is of importance to know what you care about (more on this in a later article; The Solo Theorem) and focus on them.  Certain decisions have no ultimate bearing and are just "process steps" and should not have any interference.   

Life is like fishing.  Putting the bait (feeding), is a Class 3 move, but if played right, it will evolve into a Class 1 result.

Shoot, score, smile.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Understanding The Hotness Ladder, Part I-Testosterone Rationalizing Index (TRI)

For sound comparisons to exist, there must be a standard unit of judgment.  Since the beginning of time, there has been very effective ways of classifying many objects and articles, but the female specimen remains one of the hardest to be put into categories in a fair and agreeable manner.

There are many different adjectives that can be used to describe a lady-cute, pretty, sexy, sweet.  This bring rise to many problems, including as to which adjective should hold more water in the subject.  For instance, some believe that cuteness will last forever; yet some also believe there will be a point (or day) when you eventually get sick of the "cuteness".

Fret no more, the Testosterone Rationalizing Index (also known as TRI), shall serve as a lighthouse to the misguided.  It is a scientific method of assigning the female species into specific groups.  It will serve to diminish variations in definitions and reduce confusion and misleads.

The above picture is the Testosterone Rationalizing Index.  Allow me to explain.  With this index, we shall divide girls into 4 different categories.  The first category would be "CMI girls".  This group of girls would be those whom you absolutely have no sexual interest with.  You could spend a night alone in a room with them without the slightest sign of any lust.  Category 2 girls would be girls whom are average-looking.  They are girls whom you would bang, but then again, they're a dime and a dozen.  Category 3 girls are girls who are B'N'B-bang and brag.  These girls are considered pretty under my definition.  They are heads-motioners.  They caused heads to turn and heads (you know which one) to rise.  They are capable of raising your horniness level easily.  Category 4 girls are a class of their own.  They can, and should be referred to HBB-Heavenly Blessed Beauties.  They are evidence of a divine being's existence.  They are probably the ones who can give you the oneitsis feeling.  You would drag your balls over shards of broken glass just to see her smile...and so I digressed.

Notice that the lines are of different thickness.  The thicker line separating categories 3 and 4 is representative that it is extremely difficult for a girl in category 3 to be "promoted" into category 4.  Conversely, this also mean it is not easy for a category 4 girl to slip back into being a category 3.  Inflows and outflows are very limited, in fact, a rarity.  The category 4 is a very prestigious ranked group, reserved only for the true elite.  This explains why it has a relatively thinner column compared to other categories.

Now notice that the line separating categories 2 and 3 is a dotted line.  This signifies a partially permeable membrane that allows more motion/transfer between the two categories.  In other words, there is (figuratively and literally) just a very fine line separating the two categories.  A better mood might just push a category 2 girl to category 3; while an unfortunate event that fouls your day may just caused some category 3 girls to suddenly drop a rung to category 2.  There is a looser definition for girls falling within these bands.

Crude and superficial?  Let's get real for a moment.  Men are driven by two heads.  One lies on his neck, the other, somewhere below his waistline.  It would be plain stupid to ignore this fact.  Application of this has propelled this index as a scientifically-backed theorem.  It would be ironically, superficial, to not take into account, factors that are deemed to be superficial.  As long as you have emotions, then one will be subjected to favouritism, and therefore affected by physical outlook as well.  Why do you think young kids fight with each other to get hold of the certain color of toy?  Furthermore, I have never said to established anything compelling just based on TRI.

Discerning readers would have noticed that the title of this entry suggested a "Hotness Ladder".  The Hotness Ladder, is the complete way to assess a female.  The TRI only effectively rank a girl's physical attributes.  There are two aspects to determine if a girl is "hot"-physical and personality.  The physical aspect can, and should be, effectively concluded by the TRI; while the personality aspect, would be covered in another entry.  In the meantime,

Shoot, score, smile.

The Laws of 22

I am sure plenty of you have heard of the Murphy’s Law, but today, I shall preach of the Laws of 22.

A few months ago, I embarked on a titillating expedition, which sadly, did not end well.  However, I did picked up a few important lessons, which now constitute to the Laws of 22.  May I present to you, in no particular order.

Lesson 1:  Regardless of age, there are some habits that the female species will never grow up from.  For instance, ladies are incapable of going to the washroom alone.

Lesson 2:  Always be prepared to play into overtime.

Lesson 3:  If you’re intending on a covert operation, any preparations you have to partake in should not be within close proximity of your home.

On my cardinal crusade of gutso; I was maimed by an incomplete comprehension of the first percept, left wandering indiscriminately due to a lack of anticipation and nearly manifested in an undermining fashion as a result of not being sufficiently fastidious.

These three lessons, while seemingly simple and straightforward, will bring you far if you exercise consistency and compliance with them.  The first lesson helps you to understand and decipher the complex mind of the female specimen.  The second lessons stresses the importance of over-preparation.  The final lesson imparts how crucial exercising caution can be.

And oh, actually, there’s a fourth lesson.  I have the makings of a poet.

Shoot, score, smile.

The Mee Rebus Anecdote and Volcano Mindset Function-Why girls become hotter when they are attached.

I remember years ago when I was still in high school; there was a cold rainy Monday morning.  The day started off with an hour lecture, and needlessly to say, by the time it was over, I was cold, cold and cold.  Now I know this sounds like a faggotry, but at that point in time, all I wanted was some warm food.  So I proceed to the canteen; when I saw a friend of mine, eating a plate of mee rebus.

And that there and then, I suddenly felt a craving for mee rebus.

This is the Mee Rebus Anecdote, and this facilitates a very important phenomenon-we always want something that others have.

This has been true since ancient times and applies for Man young and old.  Do you remember the times when you fought with your cousins for the same toy?  Was the toy really that awesome?  Or did you just want it because he had it?  What was so appealing about conquests?  Ok, granted, it is darn cool to lead an army and kick ass, but it was also the fact that you’re taking away something from others, that drove Alexander the Great, Genghis Khan, Napoleon Bonaparte and many more great conquerors to endure harsh conditions and capture acres and acres of land.

And gentlemen, this is one of the two reasons why girls who are attached, are hotter than when they are not.

Before we delve into the second reason, it is important to be aware how the human mind works.  The human mind works in a similar way as a volcano.  Yes, you heard that right, a volcano.  The human mind has three states: active, dormant and sub-conscious(not extinct). In the active state, one is aware of his thoughts.  For instance, you would be mugging your ass off to pass your exams.  The dormant state can be likened to a cooling off period.  In this state, a previous activity/thinking/philosophy is put on hold.  However, it has been displayed before, and can be displayed again.  The final state, the sub-conscious state, is something that one has never displayed before, but it resides within.  It is manipulative from within, and rarely rears its head externally.  This concept is otherwise known as the Volcano Mindset Function.

We can now explore the second reason; work of the mind.

When we see a girl walking with a guy, she automatically gains additional points.  From the perspective of the “active state”, there is no difference.  Likewise for the dormant state.  However, our sub-concious state goes into overdrive.  When we see an unattached girl, the mind enjoys an initial perk-the spark of chance.  However, this is quickly dissolved by the thought of why is she single and difficulties(if you’re a pussy, and let’s face it, at some point, we all have had been a wuss).  The former is a very dangerous pitfall.  When we see a single girl, our sub-conscious mind will work overtime to ponder why is she single.  On the antithesis, when we see an attached girl, our sub-conscious starts feeding us on thoughts of how the girl is wife-material, dutiful and other signs of compatibility.  This will, of course, bring her up a few rungs on the “hotness ladder”.

Note that the above information does not contradict the oneitis syndrome mentioned in my previous blog post.  The oneitis syndrome is prompted not be the sense, but rather, by a mixture of clouded judgement and feelings.

Does this means that attached girls are automatically hotter than the single ladies?  Well, no.  The Mee Rebus Anecdote and Volcano Mindset Function only serve to explain why a girl becomes hotter than their previous self when they are attached.  So brethren, go ahead and use the pick-up line of “we would be a perfect 10 together”.

*Common folklore of girls looking hotter when they’re in love because love makes them more radiant is not utter bullshit, but it is, by no mean, a huge factor.  The real underlying stimulus is the grind of the sub-conscious mind.

Shoot, score, smile.

The Linger Theorem

Before we begin, there is a need to explain three terms: crush, infatuation and oneitis.

Crush, is when a guy, has a fondness for a girl.  However, the image of a crush can be broken easily.  For instance, if said girl digs her nose in public, then the whole crush image would probably just fall apart.

Infatuation, obviously, is a higher level.  When aforementioned girl starts digging her nose in public, involved guy instead, says hey, it doesn’t look that bad, in fact, it’s kinda cute and funny.

Oneitis, as the name suggests, is basically a strong feeling that a girl, is the one it is.  Well, this is pretty obvious huh.  The special one.  The one whom you want to spend the rest of your life with.  The one whom you would be willing to march 72km in full battle order; under the sweltering heat while being flogged by a 18th century slave driver every other 20 seconds just to see her smile.  More realistically, traveling 3 hours end enduring a sure traffic jam just to catch glimpses of her sideways. It’s not a made-up word.  This word has already made its way to the urban dictionary.  When the oneitis girl  reveals unshaven armpits (apparently for months), said guy would defend and say something like I haven’t shave my pubes for months either.

The problem with oneitis is that in a case of oneitis, imaginary facts are weaved to protect and further complement the oneitis feel.

What is the Linger Theorem then?  The Linger Theorem asserts that whenver a guy has a oneitis girl, he will inadvertently start comparing any girl that is remotely close to starting an intimate relationship with him with the oneitis girl.  This shall also be known as “The Linger”.

There are actually ten reasons why the Linger Theorem occurs.  However, in compliance to the Pareto Principle, also known as the 80/20 Rule…wait, you’re unaware of the Pareto Principle?  The Pareto Principle states that 80% of happenings is due to 20% of causes.  For instance, 80% of the wealth is held by 20% of the people.  80% of diseases are caused by 20% of the genetic mutations.  Incessantly, I shall continue to state the two, alright, I shall be generous, three reasons why the Linger Theorem takes place.

The first reason, is habit.  Have you ever wonder why people keep patronizing the same hawker stall?  It’s not just because the food is tasty.  The thing is, habit.  When a customer decides that the food is of acceptable quality, he/she decides to make it a pattern, or rather, a routine, to purchase from that stall.  A routine breeds familiarity and familiarity leads to comfort and a sense of security.  You change the bank of a veteran banker and he would still get some first-day jitters.

Why then do people say the only constant is change?  Firstly, that is bullshit.  Relating back to the Pareto Principle again, 80% of the changes in the world are actually created by 20% of the people (successful).  Secondly, you must be naive to believe people follow motivational posters 100% of the time.  Even those who claim in their Myers Briggs Test that they abhor a schedule, they do need a routine.  That someone who claims he cannot stand a scheduled timetable and needs to be running around meeting clients, making things happen, etc etc, is unknowingly, part of a routine.  Quite simply, his is just a more flexible routine.  While a cubicle worker’s routine would be to report for work, type report, lunch, type report, tea-break, type report and then knock off, our “freedom hero”‘s daily plan would be: get ready for work, meet client, lunch/meet client for lunch, meet another client, tea-break/maybe meet client for tea-break, rest and maybe meet client at a bar.  Close examination at the most spectral level will still provide a skeleton of a routine.

People like to feel comfortable.  After building up your perfect girl, ala your oneitis, it would becoming to have the habit to decide that no one else is better, or worse, even close.  This happens everywhere.  When a new product is launched, huge amounts of money are poured in for promotion.  Why?  We do not like to adopt new ways nor ideas; this further solidifies the “habit behaviour”.  When comparing sports legend, why do you think older fans always defend their idols so fiercely and refusing any propositions put forward by the younger generation?  Again, it’s by force of habit.  They have been accustomed to think that their heroes are the best, and it would be difficult to change that.

The second reason, is self-fulfilling prophecy.  No one likes to admit he is wrong, or deluded.  Throughout the history of time, many armies were wiped because generals refused to put a stop to their conquest.  Aforementioned generals refused to believe that they have made mistakes and taken it a step too far.  A modern-day example would be stocks.  The buyer refuses to believe that he has made an erroneous decision and he should pull out to cut losses.  He continues to cling on stubbornly to the belief that his stocks would bounce back (which sometimes happens), to the point even putting even more money in (note I said putting, not investing).  After creating such a perfect fantasy setting for your oneitis girl, it is pretty stupid to shoot oneself in the foot by acclaiming that she isn’t the one.  Therefore, you continue to assert that she is the one and believe so.

Comparison is the third basis for the Linger Theorem.  Humans like to compare.  This is not a modern day issue.  It dates back even to the tribal times.  The strongest hunter is made chieftain.  You see, it’s human nature to want to vie.  This makes the primary reason why people become unhappier as one grows up, but this is a topic that I would not dwell on today.  With girls, it’s the same.  I have no idea about you, but I want to be able to be proud of my girl.  It is inevitable that you would compare whatever new specimen of the female species presented back to the oneitis girl.

So how do we rise above the Linger Theorem?  There are three possible aspects to explore when attempting to defeat “The Linger”: natural, physical and mental.

The natural way to cure “The Linger” is to well, by allowing Father Time to work his magic.  The dogma that time will heal all wounds holds water in this setting.  As a child, have you ever lost your favourite toy (maybe it was taken away from you by a bully, in which case, jakes on you, loser)?  Well, I’m certain you felt better after awhile; although invariably, a new and better one might have helped.  The time taken for this natural cure is directly proportional to the time spent formulating fantasies of oneitis girl.

The second way, would be via physical means.  To go right up to aforementioned oneitis girl and confess.  There are two general conclusions: happy ending or a slap across the face.  However, the chances of the former occurring are pretty much close to nil, which is why “The Linger” has set in anyway.  Should the latter be the circumstance you are caught in, the next course of action have three paths: the “oh-well-whatever” path, the “her loss, bitch” passage and the slump-where you enter a state of depression, a pretty definitive characteristic of a faggot.

The final method of cure would be via the work of the mind, mental.  Research shows that the average human barely uses 1% of his brain capacity.  Einstein used close to 3%.  Imagine what could happen if we were to fully tap on our brain potential!  However, that is not the key concern right now.  Now, in the case of oneitis, the mind often conjures pleasant but inaccurate, or rather, false perceptions of said girl.  It is thus, very crucial to destroy the 10/10 image of said girl.

How do we achieve that goal?  There is a need to focus on her flaws.  No one is perfect.  Not even me.  If you’re too deluded to figure out what flaws she might have, it would be wise to consult with friends.  Once you have those flaws, you need to explicitly remind yourself of those flaws daily.

Yet this is a very challenging process.  Case study: myself.  When I was younger, I thought that having a tattoo would be cool.  I was seriously thinking of getting my name tattoo-ed across my forearm at one point in time.  However, of recent, I have changed my mind about it, not quite to the extreme, but to the point of turn-off.  So my oneitis girl has a tattoo on her left arm.  I decided to apply this tactic.  Ideally, I was hoping for:

Day 1-”She has a tattoo.”
Day 2-”She has a tattoo.”
Day 3-”She has a tattoo.”
Day 4-”She has a tattoo.”

Unfortunately, reality:
Day 1-”She has a tattoo.  A really small tattoo.  A really really small tattoo.  A really really small tattoo that would be covered if we held hands!”

In my defence, it was a really small tattoo; and yes, I would bet my last penny that if I pulled her close to me, it would be fully covered.

This is not an easy feat.  Let’s face it.  “The Linger” is not an easily slain monster.  Let there be reality.  When you moved from primary school to secondary school, you compared your school days.  When you moved on to JC, you compared your school days again.  Hell, you might even have traced back and compared your school days in JC against when you were in primary school.

Shoot, score, smile.