Sunday, February 27, 2011

12 quick guidelines to tilt the AvFB in your favor

1.  Always wear a belt when you wear pants.  Whether you really need it is irrelevant.  It just looks weird without.  Also, sadomasochism. 

2.  An Alpha always appears to be in control and calm.  Be like a duck-stay calm on the surface and paddle like hell underneath (Michael Caine).

3.  Honor thy promise.  If you have explicitly given your word, you have to, regardless how bad an idea it is. 

4.  A cat is never adorable.  They are dirty animals which serve no purpose.  The myth that cats are "cute" is propagated by pathetic faggots who are desperate to get chicks' attention.  Nothing more.

5.  Never copy homework.  If you didn't do it, so be it.  Corollary, if it's being graded, don't be dumb.

6.  The use of "Lol" should be restricted. 

7.  You do not clip your nails regularly.  You cut them when you notice that they are long.  That's it.  There is no reason why you need to dedicate a fixed time for such trivial matters.  It's not like we paint don't right?

8.  In your pencil case, there should never be more than one highlighter, pens adding to three different colors or stuff like spare pencil lead or staple bullets.  Multiple highlighters are for chicks.  Real men can deal with underlines or circling using their pens.  Having pens that make up the colors of the rainbow is again, strictly for chicks.  Spare items like pencil lead and stapler bullets are what the secretaries should have.  And a male secretary is just gay and faggot-ish.

9.  Never call someone "bro".  We're in Singapore, not USA.  When this word is used as an opening, nine times out of ten, a favor request would ensue.  The other one time would be an extension required of already granted favor.  The word "bro" should remain exclusively in the gym. 

10.  There is only one way to read the papers.  To start with the sports section.

11.  Never use a hair dryer.  If our ancestors didn't put their hair near the fire to dry, we sure as hell can deal with wet hair.

12.  Guys do not wish each other good night.  That's just gay.

Shoot, Score, Smile.


Jesse Brooks said...

Nice blog, I'll be sure to check back often.

Chuck said...

Lol. Epic advice. Oh, wait, not lol. sry bro... Oh dammit.

You Want, You Lose said...

"12. Guys do not wish each other good night. That's just gay."

How I couldn't agree more. I support this blog.