Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Completing The Hotness Ladder, Part II-PAIN

As promised to a gentleman, it is my obligation to release the second part of my Hotness Ladder as a Valentine's Day special.  However, after much deliberation, I have decided to publish this much earlier due to three reasons; the first being I have two treasured friends whose birthdays fall on this exact date.  The next is in consideration for those who are still single not by choice and seeking a girl.  Hopefully, or rather with great amount of certainty, the comprehension of the Hotness Ladder will help in homing in onto a target.  The final reason, will, if all goes well, unravel itself on Valetine's Day itself.

While TRI is an efficient way of grading a female's physical appearance, a ladder always has two rails; so does my Hotness Ladder.  It is also important to note that it is not complete to decide if a girl is hot simply based on her looks.  

What?  No, you didn't hear me wrong.  In mathematical equation terminology: hotness of girl=looks+character.  We are able to analyze a lady's looks using TRI; without further ado, allow me to induct PAIN to examine a lady's character.  As such, the Hotness Ladder:

In Biology, we explicitly know that humans have 46 chromosomes in each cell, split into 23 pairs.  Similarly, the "hotness cell", has a pair of two segments-the TRI segement and the PAIN segment.  For different individuals, these segments will exert varying degrees of influence.  For the sake of demonstration, I have simply left them to be of equal length, representing equal importance.   

PAIN, is an acronym for Poise, Activities, Intellect and Nice.  

It is important for a lady to display poise.  How do you think Arnold Schwarzenegger would look if he walked around with his head down and crestfallen?  Well, still pretty darn good, but not as much.  For a prime example, watch Miss Congeniality.  The first one, not the sequels.  A lady with poise, will exude a special attractiveness which cannot be copied.  The kind of confidence radiating from within can never be duplicated by nor onto another person.  It adds a fine touch of exquisite to the girl, which will leave others wanting.

The activities a lady engage in (forming her sphere of life) impact how hot she is as well.  For instance, you may have a penchant for athletic girls.  This point should be pretty straightforward, the issue is getting people to agree what activities should be considered plus points for hotness.  The reality is that everyone have different preferences.

Have you ever tried talking to really dumb girls (no, not bimbos, 'cuz she for hell wasn't pretty)?  I have.  I have once spoken to a girl who asked me why I rounded up my budgets.  I was pretty sure a few blood capillaries burst.  Hello lady, if you have money to spare, I don't think that's a problem, but if I exceed the budget, I'm certain I would be royally screwed.  Now, I'm not saying a higher intellect naturally translates to being hotter.  Rather, girls that match your intellect level (give and take some variance, depending on personal tolerance) are more likely to be able to connect with you and thus, appear hot.  Idiotic girls, unless you're looking just for an easy scam, are definite turn-offs.

The final aspect-nice.  Again, this is a pretty straightforward point but it has to be raised.  Girls who are nice are hotter than obnoxious bitches who simply think the world revolve around them.  Of course, efforts to discern genuine from facades must not slacken. 

And there we have it, the PAIN rail of our Hotness Ladder.  

In the ideal world, the PAIN and TRI segments will conjugate and form one nice rung on the Hotness Ladder.  Unfortunately, that may or may not be the case.  When the two segments do not align, we do not exactly get a rung on the ladder.  How shall we then, decide how high or low the rung should be?  Obviously, balancing on the higher segment is going to be more risky.  Should it collapse, you take a harder fall.  But if you were to stand on the lower segment, you cannot reach as high.   Well, this I would leave it to you, my readers.  Just remember that fortune favors the brave and if you are courageous, the force would be with you.

Shoot, score, smile.

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