Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Alpha-ness Vs Faggotry Balance (AvFB)

While my blog may seem to be unassociated ramblings to the common eye, astute readers would have caught on the true intent of the blog.  The bedrock for this site, is to celebrate self-discovery and hopefully, self-improvement.  

One of my favourite quotes of all-time would be one that I picked up during my mandatory military service-Everyday, Stronger, Better, Faster.  I personally find this quote (regardless of the song), to be a truly exceptional one. 

Today, I shall introduce the Alpha-ness Vs Faggotry Balance (AvFB in short).
The second picture depicts what happens on the AvFB when someone becomes more "alpha".  The fulcrum of the balance moves away, but it doesn't make you less "alpha".  In this scale, the length of the distance between the category (alpha-ness/faggotry) represents the volume of the said category you possess.  Why?  Well, this is simply because, if you are more alpha, you would actually need to do less to impress   The harsh reality is that many a time, people are influenced by reputations.  If you have a strong image, you do not actually have to do as much to create the same impact.  Metaphorically to the scale, you will need to exert a lesser force.  Scientifically, it means the fulcrum has to be further away.

With each passing day, we should seek to move the fulcrum in the favourable direction such that we become more "alpha".  There are two ways to go about doing this:
1.  Increasing alpha-ness.
2.  Decreasing the amount of faggotry. 

Without further ado, allow me to share one method of acquiring alpha-ness and one manner to reduce faggotry.

Gentlemen (and ladies, if there happen to be any reading), always remember this: You can have 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one.  Looking past the crude-ness, you would realize the immense wisdom in this statement.  You see, as a man, you should never be flustered and bothered because of a girl.  A girl, should never form the center of a universe where you, revolve around.  More accurately, no one should; but then, there is an underlying connotation as to where I stated a female.  One should never cement his life around another.  Not even married couples.

Allow me to explain for the part about married couples.  You see, I believe in the Sphere of life time-space continuum theorem. Everyone has a sphere of life.  At different points of time, this sphere can stretch or pull back towards its centroid/core.  When I was 17, DotA formed a big part of my life.  The sphere extended extensively (pardon me for the lack of variety in vocabulary) in relation to the  “DotA” aspect.  However, as I grew up, the sphere shrunk with regards to this nature.  The “DotA” radius decreased dramatically while the sphere grew to embrace other stuff, more befitting of the testosterone in my body.  As couples, you and her spheres will overlap and intertwined.  Your sphere doesn't revolve around hers, but rather, together with hers.

Today, I shall also expose the biggest faggotry of modern times-Facebook.  OK, to be fair there is nothing wrong with Facebook itself.  It is how people, or rather, the male population is using it now.  By virtue of their gender, I would not inquire into how females use Facebook.  However, if you have a Y-chromosome, then I propose that certain rules must be enforced to prevent you from looking like a faggot.  I have plenty of examples:

Exhibit A-a falling star; at least i fall alone
What is wrong:  Plenty.  Firstly, men do not post emo nonsense on Facebook.  Secondly, unless you are, don't type like a first-grader.  Hell, I knew to capitalize my letters when I was in kindergarten.  Salvation point-he is still quite young.

Exhibit B-I spend the last 1/2 hours commenting on facebook posts and stuffs.  Behold the new MSN chat lulz!
What is wrong:  Much more.  The act of spending 30mins (at a go) doing what he did should already have you condemned.  Posting about it, ala being proud of it, suggests this person is a total faggot.  Again, poor command of English being demonstrated here.  Not much salvation for this guy, he's is 21 already. 

Exhibit C-Happy 27th birthday to Darren Fletcher! Hope you regain form for the rest of the season!
Exhibit C-Happy birthda Dimitar Berbatov! Blah blah blah blah(it's really insanely long). Keep on banging in those goals, you Bulgarian beauty!
What is wrong:  Need I say?  Wishing players from your favourite soccer team happy birthday is just acting like a stupid teenage fan-girl going crazy over boy-bands.  This is a surefire way to score 10/10 for faggotry.  And really, "Bulgarian beauty" for a man from a man?  Verdict: totally gay. 

I feel obliged to add this.  Liking your own posts and using your status (unless is within comments) to give live feeds of an on-going match are absolute no-nos as well.

I'm pretty certain that you do not want to look like a total dumbass like the above exhibits.  This is why, you must practice the Kerb Rule before making any post on Facebook  The Kerb rule is a very simple rule; yes, you guessed it, it's the same as the one your mom taught you when crossing roads.   In Facebook fashion, it would be stop before you hit the enter key, look at what you have written, look at it again, then decide if you really want to hit the post key.  Remember, there is just a very fine line between posting like a retard and being "social"(although there is a problem to this as well, to be covered in The Solo Theorem at a later date).  Unfortunately (for them), many people have fallen under the imbecile grouping.

Shoot, score, smile.

1 comment:

faerie said...

u failed to address the category of obscure albeit likely fags that psychoanalyze on blogs. :)

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